Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
