no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize