you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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