Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
