Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
