I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
