Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
