Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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