Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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