The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
