fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
