You really coming over, don't trick.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
