eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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