I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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