Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
