When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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