covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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