are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
