I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
