Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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