I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
