Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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