windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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