You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
