I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Drake has all the answers
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize