Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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