im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
