is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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