it wasn't lemon gatorade
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
