their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
