I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
no. you can't hotbox the world.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
