Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
high people should be assigned attendants
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
