Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
