so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
