he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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