I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
this hospital has no fireball
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize