Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
40s are totally the cure
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
