Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
