It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
