are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
