I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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