Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
