Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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