My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
