i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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