um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
