I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
