thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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