that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
