Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize