Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
