i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
