Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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