Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize