So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize