i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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