Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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