I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
