I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
