who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
