There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
