Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
