Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
